20 ain't that sweet.

Once you hit 20 and you just finished your polytechnic, you'll find that 20 ain't that sweet. Well, at least mine isn't.

I have 2 part-time jobs, of which both are not stable at all and having part-time jobs means no CPF. Yes, I'm only 20 but I'm already thinking of my CPF. I'm worried that in the future, I'd not have enough to get a house. Everyone around me just says, "Let your future husband do the job." Hello? Are you guys outta your minds?! How can I let one guy to decide whether I have a roof over my head?! What if his CPF isn't enough? It means I would have to top it up in order to get a house and if I don't have any or so little that it actually doesn't help much, I'd probably be living with his family or mine. Not that I'm against that but marriage to me is starting afresh and having my very own family. So I'd very much wish to have a house on my own with my husband.

Currently, I'm working in the AVL line, one of which was my internship company and the other is a suggestion by the boyfriend, which I am only scheduled to work once per month. I'm a girl, and a really skinny one. So people just shove me aside like I'm nothing and show me no to little respect cos I can't carry heavy stuff and can't do much work. To be honest, people always magnify the bad things about me and minimise the good points I have. Not that I'm saying I'm good but if I am not given the chance to learn and shine, how will anyone know how good I am?

To be honest, living in Singapore is making me so depressed. Every single thing is so god damn expensive and even if it isn't, the price will just keep on rising till it gets ridiculous. An example would be a thick shake from New Zealand Natural. A few years ago, it was $5 and already expensive enough. Now it's freaking $7.  Then, there's the pressure from my parents. Occasionally, my mum would text me up, asking me if I have gotten a full-time job. It gets me so depressed every time my mum texts me this cos I know by telling her that I haven't would disappoint her so much. I hate to disappoint the people I love, especially my parents who brought me up painstakingly only to find their daughter to be so useless and unemployed.

That's why I like going overseas. Or going to places locally that doesn't seem like Singapore because for that period of time, I'll just forget how sucky life can be and just be happy and relaxed without worrying about pieces of smelly papers that control our lives or being unemployed.

For now, when I'm not out for my job, I'd just spend the whole day on my laptop or going out with my friends. Life's currently really depressing for me right now and I don't know when will things get better but I hope the time will come soon cos I don't know how long I can take all these.

Sorry that this has been a really upsetting post but I gotta rant all of these out somewhere and if any of you are going through what I am now, don't worry, you're not alone.

Till next time folks. X

P.S. I'm really thankful for having readers, even though I've no idea if some of you even read my post but my makeup posts hit 250 and I love you guys. Thanks so much for your support, muah.