Is your passion your job?

For me, yes. I am currently working at a show company where we provide audio, visual and lighting services. It's not an easy line of industry for a female, especially a skinny one like me but somehow, having my internship at this company sparked my interest for this industry. Yes, it is freaking tough and many doubt my working capabilities because of the following reasons:

1. I look like a freaking secondary school kid.
I am 20 years old, btw but somehow, SOMEHOW, I still look like a 16-year-old. I always feel like banging myself against the wall when someone says that.

2. I'm a female.
Uh, yes, being a female working as a technician is really, really rare. Maybe you see females working at show companies but as project coordinators or other office-related jobs but not as a technician where we carry heavy stuff and.. you know just do the tough work.

3. I look like I don't know what I'm doing.
Yeah, I know how terrible it looks like when you hand over something important to someone who looks really blur but trust me, I really do know what I'm doing. Cos if I don't, I'll be sure to learn everything properly before going out for a show.

Yeap, that's sad. How gender inequality still exists in this modern world. I know how some think that 'this ain't no job for a lady.' but hey, don't deny anyone of their chance to chase their dreams. Because I understand how upsetting it is to have someone throwing a blanket over you when you are so determined to go after something that you really wanted. It sucks. So no matter how weak one is, if one is willing to learn and willing to go through whatever hardship that is given his/her way, please, do not chase them out of your company door without giving them a fair chance.

Then, there comes the main issue of this post 'is your passion your job?'

I talked this over with a close friend of mine. She said her dream job was to move to Egypt and open a stall that sells coke. Coke as in, Coca-cola. Not the drug. I know how weird it may seem to you guys and you may even say that she wouldn't earn a single cent but why deny her of her chance to happiness? I know how people are dragging themselves to a place they dread where they have to do things they hate. That is not a job. That is torture. A form of torture that you brought upon yourself. Yes, you may say your passion can't feed you. But let me tell you, happiness can't be bought. I'd rather be happy, working at this tough line, getting tons of bruises and cuts with little pay than typing my way at a desk from 9am to 5pm, trying to keep myself awake and have to fret about what to wear every single day.

My dream job now, is to be a lighting programmer. This route to my dreams may be difficult but I will not go down without a fight. I may not become the best lighting programmer ever but I aim to be one of the good ones, one of the ones that people fight over. That is my dream job.