A normal life.

Seeing your tweets, your facebook activities, everything seemed so normal for you. You're leading a normal and happy life. But here I am, smiling on the outside but on the inside, I feel so damn terrible.

Everyday, I wake up, telling myself that you're leading a normal life, so I should too. But somehow, the memories creep back and torment me with those terrible heartaches and overwhelming emotions. Everyone keeps telling me I should move on, I should let go, I should do this and do that. It's easier said than done.

Whenever I'm out with friends, I'm smiling, laughing, talking like normal. But I'm not at all. I'm just pretending. So that no one would ask if I'm okay. So that I wouldn't cry when they ask me that. So that I can shut myself up in my own world and just stay there. So that no one can ever stir those emotions in me anymore. So that I wouldn't be affected when anyone were to leave me anymore. So that I'd become cold-blooded and heartless. So that I'd become unfeeling.

I'm tired. I want to lead a normal life. I just want to be okay again.